My Favourite Things, Not
Taking pics of a painting is kinda insane,
Thinking that others are in the wrong lane,
Blocking the line at the departure gate,
This is a list of the things that I hate.
This month’s edition of 3 Things is a philippic.
Hell is other people
Some people really need to recalibrate their courtesy settings:
- Anyone who takes pictures of art in a gallery 1.
- First off: you are blocking someone else’s enjoyment of the art/display.
- Second off: Your crappy picture is going to sit on your phone forever, no-one is ever going to look at it.
- Third off: The gallery or museum sells high quality reproductions of their most popular art, and postcards of just about everything on display. Spend a few pennies and get something worth keeping.
- Side-by-side sidewalk hogs.
- A busy sidewalk is an improvised ballet of pedestrians moving in myriad directions at once. Two (or more) people walking side-by-side and expecting everyone else to get out of their way is like releasing a hippo on the stage.
- See also: People having conversations in the middle of busy sidewalks.
- People who listen to music or watch videos on their phone in public without earphones.
- Have some self-awareness people. Everyone hates you.
- Neighbours using lawn mowers at dinnertime. Gas powered leaf blowers at any time.
- I know from experience, it takes a lot of time and effort to maintain a suburban yard, and sometimes the day just isn’t long enought to get everything done. But for the love of all that is holy, don’t destroy your neighbours’ al fresco dinner just because you are behind schedule.
- Gas powered leaf blowers are a scourge and anyone still using one is beyond redemption.
- Airline passengers who crowd the gate before their boarding zone is called.
Oblivious, dangerous drivers
This is a separate and distinct category from the merely rude behaviours itemized above. This is actually dangerous.
- Left lane cruisers (and middle ones too).
- If you are driving on the highway, and someone passes you in the lane to your right2, then you are in the wrong lane and are driving too slow. Move over, and let the speed freaks do their thing. Everyone will be safer. It doesn’t matter if you are doing the speed limit, or faster; Someone wanted to pass you, and you were blocking the road.
On a separate issue, it’s worth mentioning that, although they are widely reviled, people who wait until the last minute before merging out of a lane that is ending are actually doing the right thing. It’s called a “zipper merge”, and it is supported by transportation ministries/departments around the world. Look it up3.
Street Parking
There is a lot to be said for living in the city: access to arts4 events, a multitude of dining options, being more active by walking everywhere, to name a few. I am a fan. But if there is one thing that I could do to make it even better, if would be to drastically reduce, or eliminate, street parking. It is insane to allow unused vehicles to crowd much of the public road space that could be available to pedestrians, bicycles, delivery and emergency vehicles, and (even) cars that are driving in the remaining space.
The solution5, as with many road use issues is pricing6. The city grossly undercharges7 for street parking, thus making it more attractive than it should be. If the cost of parking were increased to reflect the benefit it offers, you would see far fewer cars taking up valuable public road space.
How much should a city charge for street parking? I would start with the price charged for private parking, and discount it a bit because street parking is less assured than having a private space. Then see if people are willing to pay. If there are still too many cars on the street, increase the price for new permits, and monitor the results. Rinse and repeat every year.
In a few years, you will either have freed up street space for the rest of us, or raised a ton of money that can be used to upgrade mass transit and street infrastructure. That’s a good and fair outcome for everyone.
- Unless no one is else looking at the same piece ↩︎
- Or left, if you are in a country that drives on the wrong side of the road. ↩︎
- Zipper Merge Video ↩︎
- Or sports, if that is more your thing. ↩︎
- The thought leader on this issue was Donald Shoup, who recently passed away. ↩︎
- Case in point: The phenomenally successful decongestion fee now charged to drivers entering lower Manhattan. ↩︎
- In Toronto, it’s ~C$25/mo. In Hoboken NJ, where I used to live, its ~US$50/year! ↩︎
Whew! I bet you feel better now! Slight refinement to your merge purge. Those that race to the end of the merge lane then force their way in are assholes, not “zip”-ers. A truly elegant zipper starts part way down the merge lane where you somewhat match the pace of the traffic lane, signal your intent and allow an equally courteous driver to make room (it always happens, though not necessarily the first). Once that space is made, maintain position in the merge lane and gradually drift over as the merge lane disappears. Absolute success is achieved when no one involved is required to even use their brakes never mind having to slam them on!
W
Seems like that just moves the “zipper point” further back in the traffic lane, which means that the line up is longer, and there is still opportunity for someone to, fairly or unfairly, pass you and head to the end of the merge lane.
We can hash it out when you come back to Canada, from whereever you are these days.